This year now that my to buy shopping list has dwindled and now my robot hunting seasons have slowed down drastically due to me not being able to complete painting those little masterpieces before my next purchase- I have developed a new obsession. And while quite a few times it has really tug my heartstrings just by recalling it, I actually feel a greater weight everytime I fail to practice it.

The new named obsession, is grace. It is to my great annoyance that like other named objects of desire ie: money, the more you try to count it; the more you find its supply always falling short of adequate. No kidding. its like a dwindling bank account-I confessed in public the other day for not walking a girl to her car after dinner that I hesitated only because I was to absorbed with something else and was lacking the innate sense to show courtesy; but on the way back home, beyond the act that lacked, I just wonder whether do I really have the ‘being’ beyond the ‘doing’?

Of course chivalry is not dead. Sure I’ll walk you to your car, and save you from the mountain bandits that would crawl out of the drain metal enclosures. With my car key I’ll take one of his/her eye out, and with my house key, I’ll jab the other till I see them juices spurting out in a slight springy texture like konyakku jelly out from a cookie mold. Like totally, I’m all ready to do that.

Today pastor just pointed out to not be so easily enthralled by perfect mannerisms because social etiquette itself could be groomed to perfection; but to possess kindness itself is something that could only be revealed in time. I keep reminding myself of who I am & how would I treat those people that are least ‘important’ to me , for the lack of a better description; rather than the people that would benefit me the most through a positive impression.  Think Jesus described it real well when He said that the greatest will be the servant of all.

And everything greater; the greater kindness, the greater heart- could always be found in those capable of serving ALL- not just those in position of prominence, but also to those that steals away the time I preciously called “mine”.

And I really wish not to engage into a whole charity performance to convince myself that through it I’ll get better. Just maybe; I need to start with the very little things- the simple smile of grace and a guarded tongue; to remember that a rush doesn’t reserve me the right to use the break pads a little less on the road; and all the smaller cares that would reflect better values imbued, rather than a mode of superficial courtesy we put on to make ourselves more likable… until time prolongs, and we get comfortable.

So beyond the numbers in the wealth of a bank account I hope that by the grace of God, the kindness beyond the courtesy of an acquaintance, grows.